Onsite - Short Story

12th floor of Elements high raised apartments in Bellevue. My clock says it's 7:30; but now that the Americans have manually displaced time by 1 hr, forcing it to run faster; the time is actually believed to be 8:30 PM. You know... like a lie that's universally believed. I could see almost the entire town from my patio and in the nights, the view is at is best. I should admit it gives me the "I'm on top of the world" feeling; though the reality is that the world is sitting on top of me and in fact, crapping all over me. I'm an onsite coordinator in a consulting company here. What do I do? Oh well... that's kind of hard to explain in one sentence; but let me give it a shot. I talk to the dumbest people on earth, frequently termed as clients; and then pass on my version of their expectation from our company to the silver medalists - the offshore team. In this process, I would've to make sure that my boss makes money and I also come up with a lot of documents explaining what, how and when things ought to be done with a clear conception that nothing is going to go on the way I've explained. And yeah... I also interview people who are willing to be crapped on, train people with zilch programming knowledge and convert them into programming gurus (or at least make them believe they are one). With these believers, I ought to deliver above and beyond client expectations without thinking about any increase in pay, as recession has affected the job markets here. What? Coffee? No no no... I don't supply coffee; and in fact none does. Heard it's against the US labor laws; and the employees are supposed to brew their own hot water... err... coffee!

Enough said about me! Let me try to make a Memento (as in the movie remade in Tamizh as Gajini; not a token of remembrance, that usually comes down to a soap box or the cheapest trophy in the market) out of my moments.

5 years back... Chennai, India

Manager (Imagine a middle aged, wheatish, stout person with a head balded akin to a Samurai, dressed in an apple green shirt and a brown pant with a black belt and brown shoes): What are you going to do getting a promotion? Trust me it doesn't help. Will you take a word of advice?
Me (5 yrs younger and 15 kgs lighter): Tell me.
Manager: I'll initiate your US visa. That's the way to go buddy!
Me (Rolling Eyes): Oh!
Manager: So, we are settled here. *Grins*

1 day back...

Me: I just did a comparison of the client working set with the repo and I see a lot of differences
OTL: Yes. Looks like I didn't check in some changes into the repository.
Me: But you said it's all in sync.
OTL: Yeah. My local copy is in sync.

3 years back... Chennai, India

Manager: I tried really hard for your promotion this time. It looks like you would've surely got it if you joined our company a couple of weeks before.
Me: But...
Manager: Don't worry! I'll surely get it for you next time.
Me: (Thinking, this has become a fable now) What happened to my visa?
Manager: It's on its way. Embassy takes its time you know...
Me: When do you expect it to be done?
Manager: Pretty soon. Don't worry! So we are settled here. *Grins*

2 days back...

Client: I'm not going to pay for this month. You guys have done absolutely nothing in the past couple of months and you don't even know how to set up a basic repository.
Me: But I heard from the offshore team that everything is setup and working. There should be some communication gap somewhere. I'll personally look into it and address it.
Client: You better do it!

Same night

Me: What is happening? Why can't you even setup a repository correctly?
OTL: Everything is fine in our checks. I've compared my working set with the repository and everything is in there.
Me: Did you always keep your working copy in sync with the client working copy?
OTL: Yes.
Me: Sure?
OTL: Yeah. 100%

2 years and 1 day back... Chennai, India

(There is this group called immigration team that's supposed to help us out with Visa processing and other stuff; but what they do best is to scare the crap out of you and perhaps make you think that you need a special petition to continue your Indian citizenship)

Immigration Team Member: These are your documents. It contains the project description too. Keep it by-heart. If you don't answer a question right, your visa will be rejected.
Me (Beginning to sweat a little): Looks like the description doesn't meet the actual project that I'm going for.
ITM: I know! But this document is your bible. If you don't know it in and out, you are doomed! (dialog from "Full Metal Jacket" echoing in my ears... "This is my document. There are many others like it; but this one's mine. My document is my best friend...")
Me: Ok. Thank You.

1 year back...

* Outlook notifies an email from client *

"... A school kid will do a better programming than you guys and you completely failed to be of any value to us..."

* Sky is filled with darkness and night announces its presence *

Me: I've repeatedly told you how to fix these issues. I've presented the solution. I've given you the specifications. I've been there staying up all night long... What else do you expect me to do?
OTL: I know! But it's working in our local copy.

1 year, 11 months and 2 days back... American consulate, Chennai, India

* Mixed voices in fast forward motion *
"Your appointment letter and passport"
"Your documents"
"Join this line"
"Is this the correct document for H1-B stamping?"

Finally, in front of the immigration officer.
Officer: Good Morning! How are you?
Me: Fine. Thanks. My documents...
*Officer seriously typing something and I was wondering how she found out it's not the right project in my petition request *
Officer: What is your skill-set?
Me: Oh skills... Yeah... Java, J2EE, err... Smalltalk
Officer: Your petition is approved. You'll get your visa in 1 week.
Me: Huh?! Thanks!

1 year, 4 months back...

Me: "Looks like the build is completely unstable. There is nothing working"
Offshore team lead: It works in my local copy.
Me: Ok... Let's try to figure out what went wrong; and have our discussion tomorrow.

1 year, 6 months and 1 day back... Travel desk, Chennai, India

(Travel desk is a bunch of guys who help you travel from India to other countries in the longest possible route)

Agent: We're working on your tickets sir. Please wait.
* 3 hours pass by *
Agent: Don't be in a hurry sir! See... This gentleman has his flight tonight. We are working on his ticket and you have a full day left! Don't worry you'll be in US day after :)
* Dumbfounded and back to the lobby *
* 3 more hours pass by *
Agent: Here is your itinerary sir. Your destination is Seattle; and you will go from Chennai to Mumbai, Mumbai to Bangalore, Bangalore to Delhi, Delhi to Beijing, Beijing to Hong Kong, Hong Kong to San Francisco, San Francisco to...
Me: It's ok! I'll take care!

1 year and 6 months back... Sea-Tac airport, USA

* Telling myself * At last...

1 year, 5 months and 29 days back...

Boss: Hope you have settled in here.
* continues without waiting for an answer *
You have been assigned to project A and project B. You may have to do some development in project B; but project A is primarily coordination. Talk to Arun and he will give you all the information needed. Ok? Take it easy man! * smiles and leaves *

4 hrs back till now... Soliloquy

Is it really worth working with these guys?
Am I really doing the right thing?
Is this what I'm destined for?
* Questions flooding my brains *

What? Why am I not going back to India? Well... That's an interesting way of looking at it. You know... Hey just a sec. Offshore call guys. BRB!